Reply to Need reality check: how helpless is someone with a broken ankle?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous] I always wonder about people who don't believe others when they say they're sick or in pain. Do the suspicious ones  fake illnesses and thus think others do as well? It makes me think the person must be dishonest herself.[/quote]

I sometimes suspect people are "faking" as you put it.  It's not that I think their injury or illness is false, it's just that the level of pain I would have to be in in order to ask someone to wait on me hand and foot is pretty high.  For someone to have, say, a bad cold and be lying on the couch watching tv and ask me to fix them some soup--let's just say that I would have to be a lot sicker than that.  It's not that I think they aren't sick, I just don't understand why sickness should entitle them to become a problem that I have to solve.

OP, you are being really awful about this.  Obviously this is due to a long history of dysfunction.  You don't feel you can trust your husband to put the wellbeing of your child or yourself before his preferences.  I agree that I wouldn't want to be in a marriage like that.  But I encourage you to get some counseling before you end things, mainly because you sound very bitter about it all, and you don't want to take that attitude with you into a new chapter of your life.[/quote]

I had several sessions of counseling recently (before the ankle thing, obv.), they actually made my desire to leave even stronger.
I understand he needs me and I am in no way mean to him. But I tried to find out if he feels he is wrong in any way- telling me awful things before he was disabled, wanting me to leave, not thinking about his family before engaging in dangerous and unnecessary activities- I don't feel any remorse or appreciation from him. Maybe he is too embarrassed to show it, but I doubt it. I think he will "take his revenge" after he feels better just to feel less ashamed, trying to downplay my role.
I just see it so clearly. One has to be in control of him and the situation. If he is in control/responsible, he becomes a tiny tyrant.
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