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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Do you even live in the DC area? $120,000 is not a lot of money around here. They are probably already stretched thin raising a family on one salary, and you're suggesting that they move to a smaller house in order to afford visiting family four times per year? Yes, family is important, but so is saving for college and retirement, feeding and clothing everyone, and paying bills. Nowhere did OP suggest that they are living beyond their means, so I'm not sure on what you're basing this assumption. [/quote]
[quote=Anonymous]Do you have basic math skills? OP says they can't afford it, that the trips are too expensive. I agree with the immediate PP that $120k a year doesn't go that far in this area. You're not going to buy 4 $1000 plane tickets by cutting the cable.[/quote]

I'm the "I think it's sad" poster from page 3.  Yes, I live in the area and yes, I have basic math skills.  I am surprised by some of the reactions to my post, but I'm glad at least some people here agree with me.  My husband and I have never made over $100,000 in our combined incomes in spite of our many advanced degrees.  It just happens that our professions don't pay much.  Sometimes in the past I found myself getting tense when he would tell me it was important for our family to fly across the country to visit most of his family.  Sometimes I have even stayed home while they went, to save the cost of one ticket.  Sometimes we just send the younger generation (who can fly unaccompanied) because we know how important it is to have an active relationship with grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins.  Whenever my husband reminds me that his parents are getting up in years and we will never miss the money as much as we will miss them when they are gone, I know he is right and that we need to make family visits a priority.

And again, one of the things I said was sad in my PP is that the non-working wife is telling the husband that there is not enough money in the budget for the visits he wants to make.  Be careful to cherish the marriage partnership and consider each other's feelings and perspective sensitively.  And I wasn't suggesting that cutting the cable bill would pay for the trips; that is what others suggested, and I was contrasting my suggestion with that, saying they might consider much bigger cuts such as even moving to a smaller house or different neighborhood.  It is not an outlandish suggestion.  It all depends on one's priorities.  Family trumps a lot of things.  We live in a modest home beyond the Beltway.  We've downsized before and we will probably downsize again.  We don't have a cleaning service.  We don't generally take travel vacations except to visit family.  My husband drives an old car.  And I will never tell my husband again that we don't have enough money for him and the kids to visit his family whenever he thinks it's right to do so.

To me, if you cannot afford to fly to visit family four times a year when your husband thinks it's important, then that in and of itself means you are living beyond your means.  Look at all the things that we regard as necessities that really aren't.  When I remember how simply my family lived when I was young, I know that most of what we surround ourselves with isn't really necessary.  We could probably all live more simply, and we might be better off for it.
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