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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, my mom left my dad when I was 8.  So different situation but as an adult, I did get some insight from my dad.

Before they split up, my family lived in (nice town A).  My dad went to work at (Big City B) which was too far away for a daily commute.  So Monday mornings he'd drive to work and then stay with his sister and her husband during the week, then come back home Friday.

This was a huge factor in the marriage breaking up because he just wasn't around, and this is before email/texting/facetime and when the phone was a nickel a minute so everyone was trying to keep the calls short.  Year after year, my parents were just living two separate lives and couldn't connect with each other.

As an adult, I asked him, why didn't he move my mom and us kids down to Big City B when he got that job?  He said, "I didn't want to disrupt the family."  So, in his mind, our school and friends were more important than his presence.  He clearly didn't comprehend that we all needed his time and attention and presence as a husband and dad, not just his pay stub.

That mentality was so much more prevalent back then.  I'm a little older than you but I do think it still applies.

When my mom left my dad, my dad tried to get her back--not by cajoling or wooing or offering a more integrated, better life--he tried to get her back by cutting off the money to her.  Ok he was an engineering-type so wasn't the best at understanding and predicting the relational consequences of that decision (i.e. that it would backfire) but again it illustrates "that mentality"--that gross underestimation about what is important in a family life.[/quote]

Aha! My dad's an engineer. Maybe that's the connection- signed op[/quote]

Yeah, that must be it.  :roll: [/quote]

Clear I was joking . Would you mind not posting again. Unless you have some valuable insight?[/quote]

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