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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why are people trying to turn this into a gender thing? It's what every couple decides for themselves. That's a pretty major thing for any spouse to do - to unilaterally decide they aren't going to contribute financially to the household. It's BS for any spouse to do that.[/quote]

Because the OP has flat out said that the degree to which she loves and respects her husband is tied to his ability to provide financially for her. I suspect that her opinion would be the same even if they were not struggling financially. She thinks that's the job of men and is pissed that she's stuck playing the "man's role" in her marriage. That's DIRECTLY related to gender.

As for unilaterally deciding, OP doesn't mention how her husband came to be unemployed. Did he get fired, OP? If so, it sounds like doing housework and a lot of childcare is actually contributing - just not by the OP's definition. If he can't bring in money, she doesn't love him.[/quote]

What's wrong with having expectations of your spouse? People do lose respect for people; that's not sexist. That's realistic. You can suspect all you want, but the reality of what she said is that she expects him to contribute and be a provider, just as she is. She doesn't want to be leeched off of (her words.) I suspect, to use yours, you wouldn't want to either. I'm a woman. I don't want to be a sole provider. Neither does my husband. So neither one of us is. For some people it works for them. It's not working for OP, and that's for her to decide if it works for her or not, not you.[/quote]

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