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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]18:28 here again. The reason why I ask if there is anything positive about him that you can really hone in and make him start to feel respected and appreciated again is because from reading your side of the story, you make it very clear that you feel you settled. But yet you state you are committed to making it work.

Respect is HUGE. Please start thinking back to what made you want to marry him in the first place - for both of your sakes I hope it was more than he was "accessible." There is a "new normal" after kids, yes, but respect is a core foundation of any marriage and if you never had that to begin with I'm having a hard time seeing how this is going to work out.[/quote]

This is a key question for me- was there no respect from the beginning because I am just not capable of respecting my partner? Will I always flee from those I respect (and think myself not worthy)?
Or was it a one time mistake, I just settled for someone I didn't respect, but in theory with another guy I can do better?
Or am I downplaying my feelings for him? This is not very likely as I remember this problem of respect being very acute for me.

I think I was hoping to make it work since I thought he would play along with whatever I suggest. But at some point things went wrong so to speak.
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