Reply to Husband promised to quit smoking pot before DC was conceived.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Child is now 4 and husband has decided he needs pot for medical reasons. Is it my fault I believed him when he promised no pot after fatherhood? What an absolute jerk.[/quote]

Im in a somewhat similar situation, though DH did quit smoking pot on his own before we were engaged. Several years into the marriage he picked it back up for stress control (long before we had a child). Its been sort of an issue ever since (child now 7).

My decision to "let" him smoke some pot was based on the realization that it really was no more harmful than any other presecription drug he might take for stress. While the evidence supports that notion, the aspect that is the most annoying is just that he smokes more than he said he would. But he is a hihly productive individual. Not all people who smoke pot are lazy as some seem to think.

As someone who does not smoke weed or do any drugs its hard for me to understand/separate the aspect of dependency that is the choice and the aspect that is addiction. Its not easy for anyone to understand, actually, which is why addiction continues to be so hard to treat.

OP- your husband may have made a promise he intended to keep but was not up to the task to keep. Ask yourself exactly what the problem with his potsmoking is. In my case, I dont like the idea that DC will be exposed to it someday. But then I have a friend whose son is totally anti-pot or any drugs, and he grew up with his dad as a weedsmoker, the kind of who smoked it in the back room or garage, away from him, but he knew anyway. This young man is now in college and I told him mom (a non smoker) that he had told me he had always known his dad was a smoker, which was news to her!

My other issue is ITS STILL SMOKE. there is no magic hippie force field that makes it not smoke because its weed. So there is that.

However: many intelligent and productive people who dont smoke weed are married to other intelligent producitve people who do smoke weed. Its not nearly as uncommon as people might think AND there most certainly is not just one pot culture.

So anyway, I struggle with this issue too. DH so far has kept it discreet enough that DC does not know, but not discreet enough for her to not figure it out someday. It sucks, and there are other issues in the marriage for sure that are really worse and make me think Im not sure I can stay married.[/quote]

Do you drink?  If so, that feeling you get when you say "I'd like a glass of wine" is the same thing.  You mentioned you don't smoke or do drugs, but many people don't know or choose not to believe alcohol is a drug.[/quote]

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