Reply to Is it possible to learn to enjoy sex with someone after years of bad sex?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Personally, I pined for the (cute) guy on the chess team, if there was one, and never on the football players yuck.  I always preferred the quieter, studious, more sensitive guys.  Of course you don't want to deal with someone who is completely passive all the time, but this alpha-beta thing is just crap.[/quote]

Most of the alpha-beta posters are speaking in generalities. Most of them even acknowledge you need some beta to really make it in a relationship.

I posit it's possible to be alpha in different fields/mental stuff, or someone on the chess team appears to be more alpha simply by following regular social norms (and not being creepy awkward).[/quote]

Ok I guess the problem that I am having with the "alpha-beta" posters is that at this moment I have no idea what the heck alpha-beta means.  So being socially normal is alpha behavior?  Being in good physical shape is alpha?  Making a lot of money is alpha?  This is all "manly" stuff?  It just seems like a totally arbitrary word salad type scheme that is a little sexist and offensive.  I mean, to me, these sound like just regular positive attributes that would be appreciated in a man or a woman.  If you marry someone and they are sensitive, help around the house, parent the kids, make a lot of money, look good, and act socially normal, that is actually called a PERFECT PERSON.  Of COURSE you would like having sex with this person because he is a fantasy man.  To say to a man who doesn't have every single one of these attributes "oh, you're too beta," is just somewhat insulting to his masculinity and demanding perfection from him.  Just be honest at least.  Just say "no, you need to be more perfect because your wife's love appears to be conditional."  I say that as someone who does not defend DHs a ton on this board but I am just getting sick of the "alpha-beta" crap and I find it demeaning to men.[/quote]

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