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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I was once in a similar position. Husband with a high level security clearance and a severe drinking problem that developed half way through our marriage. He had black out times were he didn't remember his aggressive and horrible behavior. Finally I did get thrown against a wall and whacked about as our 2 year old screamed. He got help, but not then and I didn't call the police. My Ex's drinking and violence were out of characters for him, but,lasted for several years and symptom of a very unhappy marriage on both sides.  He left, I am very happy he did, and so is he.  Your marriage might be salvageable.  Mine was not because I could not forget what he did and why. Examine how you feel and the underlying reasons you're marriage has taken this turn. [/quote]

I wish he would leave and have asked him to do so numerous times. He has told me that he will never leave his children and that if I try to divorce him, he will pursue full custody of our children because he believes I am an unfit mother and unable to manage as a single mother. I will not leave my children either and I have stayed because I believed that while not an ideal situation, I could at least monitor my children 100% of the time. If I pursued divorce, I am sure he would at least get joint custody and at that point, I would have no idea what is going on when the children are with him. He would never harm them physically (though after last night, who knows, and he has talked about how he thinks we should use spanking as a form of discipline as it was used on him, and he is fine), but I fear him imparting his flaws/insecurities/patterns of behavior onto them. His own father his extreme anger and control issues and I am seeing his parents marriage being played out in our marriage. My greatest fear is that we are perpetuating a cycle with our children and I don't know how to best stop it. Before the other night, my plan was to stay until the kids were no longer minors. [/quote]

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