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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "I am dependent on H and he is starting to mistreat me - advice?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote][quote]PP here again. It's not even about the stroller it sounds like you don't respect his opinion in parenting. He is just as much of a parent as you. You're demeaning him. Get a divorce if you want, but don't cry abuse because you're unwilling to share parenting equally. [/quote] If he wants a say in things he needs to share the burden, too. Not command me to do things his way.[/quote] I agree OP. [b]I think the posters who are basically advising you to follow your husband's child-rearing orders with blind obedience are absurd. [/b]Yes, both parents get input, but we are not talking about choosing a school or daycare or other big picture issues; this sounds just like the mundane everyday stuff that really each parent should decide for themselves [i]when they are taking care of the kid[/i]. (And if they are not doing the daily caretaking, well, the answer follows.) In terms of going forward, I think you should take the opposite tack. Be polite but firm about your boundaries: allowing a controlling person to control even more is a downward spiral. And encourage DH to be more involved with your son - even if it means planning something for them one-on-one - or pushing for family activities you think DH will enjoy.[/quote] Except no one is saying that. And on one hand you say that DH doesn't get to say how things will be but that OP should put her foot down and get to say how things will be. So based on that logic then should her DH control 100% of the finances and set boundaries and be firm about it with OP because he is the one making the money? She is already controlling all the parenting, this is two people caught in a battle of wills, both wanting to be right. You are going to have marriage problems with either person thinks they should control any aspect 100% - either parenting, finances, activities. That isn't a healthy marriage. In OPs case, it sounds like both are fighting for control, both blow up and lose their cool, both are pulling back into their fighting corners and OP is bringing her child with her then asking why her DH isn't taking up half the burden. the battle lines have been drawn and neither is giving at all. [/quote]
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