Reply to IF husband has borderline personality disorder- a death sentence for the marriage?

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Reply to "IF husband has borderline personality disorder- a death sentence for the marriage?"

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[quote=Anonymous]I am the mother of a diagnosed BPD young adult. Everyone else in the family is non-BPD, so the BPD member is surrounded by emotionally healthy people including happily married parents. Even so, the intensity and drama that this one family member can generate is astounding. We have all learned to set boundaries. I have told my BPD child many times that an intimate relationship/dating/marriage is not a good idea for them right now. DC needs to be much further along in therapy and establishing better social skills before entering a relationship. It is absolutely not fair to the other non-BPD partner to try to be in a relationship with someone who is BPD and very symptomatic. It is hard enough as a parent or sibling. It would be insane as a spouse.

The problem is that DC is bright, charming, attractive so there seem to be no shortage of people interested in a relationship. And BPD's tend to be sexually impulsive, so it has not been easy to convince DC to stay out of relationships until further along in DBT and healthier. But we discuss this, as does the therapist.

DC is adopted and has uncanny similarities to birth mother regarding behavior. The psychiatrist mentioned the genetic link and stated "borderlines often give birth to borderlines."  That's another reason why we want DC to be in a healthier space before entering an intimate relationship. It's just not fair to the spouse or the child that follows. The relationships are so one-sided when the BPD is strongly symptomatic. [/quote]

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