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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Ex boyfriend asking for pictures...."
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I understand that you are angry with this woman for "ruining your relationship", but it's really not her fault. She was not the one who made a commitment to you and then broke that commitment. While it would be nice if she had the integrity to say "No, I will not get involved with you because you're in a relationship", that's less important than his broken commitment. I've also seen this movie before. Here's how it goes. Two people are in a relationship for a long time. One of those people, for whatever reasons, decides that they are not invested in that relationship, or that they are bored by it, or whatever, and starts seeing someone else. The betrayed lover finds out, ends relationship. At first, everyone is fine. The betrayed lover is righteously angry and heartbroken, has mean bitter thoughts about the cheater and goes through a phase where all their friends are making "Honey, you're better off without him" noises. The cheater is blissfully happy in new relationship with exciting new arm charm. Months go by and arm charm becomes just as boring as the girlfriend he cheated on with her. The betrayed lover starts remembering the good times. The former couple starts talking again, and they end up in their old dynamic. Of COURSE he's asking you to send pictures "like you used to". Of COURSE he'll "take care of it" before you come out to visit him. Except he won't. His sneaking out to call you to say good night makes me think that he'll tell you that only this one weekend will work for your visit, and when you get there, voila, the house is empty! His girlfriend has moved out! Except she won't have moved out. It'll be the weekend she's gone to her cousin's wedding, which he begs off going to because he "has to work" or something else. You'll become the woman you are angry with, who will call you saying "He's in a relationship with me!" and you "won't care" just like she didn't care a year and a half ago. You'll think that you and this guy have finally, truly, worked out all your issues and are headed to a happy life together, right up until the point where he starts getting distant again, where he is disappearing late at night to have secret phone conversations, where you find faceless naked pictures of women that are not you on his cell phone. And the worst thing? The reason why pretty much everyone responding to you on this thread has thrown up their hands? You know that this is what's going to happen, and you're going to make it happen anyway.[/quote] OP here: the thing is that I have ZERO interest in getting back together with him. Yes, there are still some feelings there but a lot happened in our relationship to make me not want that again. We were together for almost 6 years so I think there will always be feelings there. Also, I truly do feel like she ruined him and I. YES, it is his fault also..more then hers....however, when I found out about her, I was willing to work through it. We tried for a month and I couldn't get past that. I was there when he called her saying that him and I were together and he couldn't talk to her. I was also there all the times she kept texting and calling him asking for him to "just please respond". She knew that he was with me and that we were trying to work on things but she wouldn't give up. I blame her for us officially ending after that month. Also, I know it makes me sound like a horrible person but I can't be the only one who has these thoughts and happiness. I mean, sure he has a gf now that he "left me for" but she's clearly not making him happy and that makes me feel pretty darn good after what she did to me.[/quote]
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