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[quote=Anonymous]I'm the wife of a husband that gets pissy about birthdays, so I can see your husband's side of things.  The birthday comes on an inconvenient day and he is already aware that nothing he does will be completely satisfactory.

Take the emotional baggage out of birthdays and enjoy them more.
1. First of all, get more help.  You both work so you need help that he is not providing.  Until he is willing to help more, hire or increase house cleaning help, and have them also do the laundry.  Get prepared meals from a service or at least from Trader Joe's.  Order in.  Use a bookkeeper.  Whatever it takes.
2. Never celebrate a birthday on a weekday.  Agree in advance to call the nearest weekend day the official birthday.
3. Tell DH where you would like to go (restaurant) or have him prepare (steaks on the grille, champagne, whatever.)  Send him an email about a show you want to see, and provide him the phone number of the babysitter.  If he doesn't pull it off, fine, just rent a chick-flick that he can endure.  Eventually (in a few years) he'll learn to follow your first suggestion, meanwhile enjoy his company on the couch for your movie.
4. Tell your kids to go draw something for mommy and have them give it to your husband to put in an envelope.  He could draw his own picture.  Waaaay better than a store-bought birthday card, and can be saved for posterity.
5. Relax and enjoy, knowing that next year will be even better because now the angst you husband feels is GONE and he will actually look forward to, rather than dread, your birthday.[/quote]

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