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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I admittedly had two very easy deliveries and recoveries, and am now expecting #3, but in my opinion and experience, the final few weeks of pregnancy suck way way more than caring for a newborn. Way more. I really didn't think the first few months were that difficult. I am not trying to brag and I do think I had it pretty easy (nursing wasn't a big deal and my babies didn't have colic or anything like that) but I just wanted to offer another perspective from "it will be totally miserable." The hardest part for me the first time was the life adjustment -- getting used to the fact that we couldn't leave the house on our own and had another life to think about and things were just going to be harder and more complicated going forward.

Things that helped me - I coslept with both babies in the beginning, using a Snuggle Nest in the bed. It made nursing much easier and was way less taxing than physically getting out of bed every time the baby needed to eat. I forced myself to get out from the beginning -- figured out which carrier my babies liked best and became really comfortable with it. I made sure I got some time to myself and my husband was really good about accommodating me.

Good luck! You will survive and in a few months (years) it will seem like just a very minor blip in your life.[/quote]

I second most of this. Especially the cosleeping. Once I discovered how to nurse in the side lying position, I almost literally never felt tired again.

Another important point that has been touched on briefly but not emphasized enough: your baby's personality will determine how hard or easy the first month is. I'm currently expecting #4 and I can attest that all kids are different from the time they are in utero. My first baby was by far my hardest ... which was kind of nice because I had nothing to compare him to at the time, and I could be more tolerant because I didn't have other children to care for, and then it was such a relief to get easier ones the next two times. I will also say that I've never had a lot of trouble with sleep as a parent -- which is not to say my kids STTN from day one, because they didn't. But I found the interruptions in sleep manageable as long as I got enough total hours of sleep. What that meant in practical terms was just going to bed earlier for the better part of a year each time. Really with each of them it took two to three weeks to get into a sort of rhythm at night, but by that point they would each sleep a three or four-hour stretch and then wake up every two hours after that. For me that was doable.

I never had much trouble nursing (had mastitis a couple of times with #1) but I will second the poster who cautioned you that pain can be normal. I have found nursing painful at the beginning each time. With my second, who was/is tongue-tied, it was excruciating for the first two weeks or so (we did not get the tie fixed because he was able to get plenty of milk). I just took ibuprofen and gritted my teeth and got through it. But there are so many different types of issues you can run into with nursing, so do have the info of a good LC on hand and don't wait to get an appointment if you think you need some help, especially in the early days when establishing your milk supply is so crucial. OTOH, don't go into it expecting that you won't produce enough milk and constantly looking for signs that something is wrong. If your baby is peeing and pooping and gaining weight (after the first few days), even if he is gaining weight slowly, then your milk is fine.

It is normal for the baby to be fussy -- or even screaming -- in the evening. They call it the witching hour for a reason.

You may not bleed for weeks. I've usually been done with everything but light spotting by 10 days out.

Not all babies like to be worn. My first (the difficult one) hated it.

If you can afford it and you haven't already, hire a good newborn photographer. I only did that with my third, and I treasure those pictures soooooo much and wish I had some of the first two like that. (Not the ones done in the hospital, they are still too puffy then to photograph well). Newborns photograph best at 6 to 10 days old so you book before the birth and then you call/email when the baby is born to set up your appointment.

The hormone crash happens about 3-5 days after birth. With my second and third I was very weepy and irrational when that happened. It was actually scary because I was afraid I was going to die and couldn't think logically about that.

That's all I can think of for now. Good luck -- you'll do great!

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