Reply to Dealing with family living thousands of miles away and feeling resentful of infrequent visits

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[quote=Anonymous]OP you have EVERY right to feel hurt and angry. I know I would in your position. Your expectations are not unreasonable and you are not being selfish. That said, you're not going to be able to change this about your parents. They have made their choices.  You can express your hurt feelings to them, but it doesn't sound like that will make much difference. The only thing you can control here is how much their behavior affects you. They have shown who they are and what they want, so you need to find a way to stop hoping that they will be different. They won't. It sucks. But as PPs have suggested, now is the time to build your own "family".  This can be through friends, a church/spiritual community, or by strengthening ties with other more distant relatives such as cousins or in-laws, etc. It is super shitty that your parents have chosen not to fill that role, and it's ok to mourn that. But then you need to focus your energies on building your new family instead of trying to remake the old one into something they will never be. [/quote]

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