Reply to What would you make of this interchange between your SIL and husband? (Not sexual)

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "What would you make of this interchange between your SIL and husband? (Not sexual)"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So H and I have had a rocky marriage for the past 7 (!) years. I know he has confided in his brother and SIL about our troubles but honestly, they are constantly talking without me. It makes me feel very left out. Which is one of the issues I have.

Anyway, SIL sent H an email on Tuesday, after a family weekend (his side) at their home this past weekend

SIL:
Hey:
I know that sometimes we tend to overlook all the good things and all the things that are right and well....but your wife really did a lot for the family, was very flexible, and most importantly...really stood up for your parents!  I really wanted you to know that she is really doing a lot of things and obviously for you!!!  You guys do make a cute couple!!!  It really has been fun hanging out with you all this weekend.

H: Thanks for sending this.  She has definitely gotten more flexible, which is good.  I’m curious about the “stood up for my parents” – what do you mean?

SIL : Call me at home when you are free..

What do you guys think? I think (hope) she's trying to stand up for me but it just feels so intrusive. I don't know.

[/quote]

Did no one else notice the tense in her initial email?  It's all in the past.  OP, why is she talking about you like you are no longer part of the family?  It would certainly make me paranoid that he was about to leave.  Sorry.  Given what you've said about reading his email because of trust issues, I'd also see the "call me at home" part as a massive red flag.  He knows you read his email, she does too, she has something to say that she doesn't want you to know.

Have you had marital therapy?  It might be a good idea.[/quote]

+1. She is using the past tense, and she is a little too involved. He [b]should be[/b] talking to you or to his brother. The SIL is not as close a relationship to confide about intimate marital dynamics. Talk to him. 
[/quote]

Really?  Maybe he tried to talk to his brother and his brother said "get a woman's perspective - Talk to Diane"   The SIL is not a close relationship?  Doesn't that depend on the dynamics of a particular family?  I posted earlier that I do not see the problem and I still don't.  In thinking about it, I still do not see what the OP's problem is.  He is seeking advice/counsel from another family member!  My God, people do it ALL THE TIME!  [/quote]

You missed my point. OP should talk to her husband. No, SIL is not a 'close' relationship like I have with my highschool friends, who have known me for a lifetime. You marry your spouse, not his family. If I need advice, I have close friends and my parents. As you will observe over your lifetime, SILs come and go with remarkable frequency now due to divorce. Rarely do you see them again after they've been replaced. So now, it's not like the relationship I have with my bridesmaids.

[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics