Reply to VENT ALERT: Is anyone THIS different from their in-laws.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]As for your different views/ways of doing things.  You are perceived by her and maybe others as more regimented.  I am more like you in my parenting/household style.  My SIL is just like your SIL. Your issues are very familiar to me.  [b]My view is that what I am doing makes me happy, my kids are happy and healthy and that is what matters[/b].  If my kids get fussy, I can usually figure out why (teething, fever) very fast because they are well rested and eat well.  They aren't fussy from being hyped on sugar or overtired.  My neices and nephews are hyper and whining a lot and my SIL has no idea why.  So, to me, there are real benefits to my method versus hers but that is my choice, and hers is hers. [i] I guess for me, I am there with you about the food and laundry.  Eating healthy and doing chores sets an example for children.--practice what you preach and all that.   And, feeding bad foods a lot is BAD--just like letting a kid eat candy all day is bad.  No one would quarrel with the latter but the former is supposed to be respected as a legitimate choice?  BS. [/i] [/quote]

I'm the PP who posted just above you.  I agree with your choices.  I've said earlier that I have many of the same concerns that she does.  The bolded quote is correct.  However, when it comes to the italics quote, you 100% get to decide what is best for your family.  And SIL 100% gets to decide what is best for her family.  And frankly, it really isn't your or OP's business unless the SIL asks or makes it a topic of conversation.  If SIL doesn't ask for unsolicited advice, keep it to yourself.  And judgemental comments and snide asides just make you a bitch whether you are right or not.  Do what's right for your family and don't interfere or obviously judge someone else for doing what's right for their family.[/quote]

I am the poster you quoted.  I think you and I are in general agreement but I do think that feeding bad foods a lot is something that is a bad parenting choice.  I wouldn't say anything and I do not make faces or comments about any of this stuff.  Bad food can have health consequences--high cholesterol, obesity, etc.  The role of parents is to take care of children and I include in that role providing healthy food most of the time.  Again, I would never say anything to my SIL or any other family member but if the topic ever came up, I would point that out feeding bad food is an area where the parents are actually doing their children a disservice.  Letting kids stay up late or not do chores--that is all lifestyle and I believe live and let live.  But if someone makes a snide remark about me feeding my kids veggies or refusing to allow ice cream multiple days in a row when dinner has not been touched, I absolutely will take them on about their terrible food choices.  Maybe that makes me a bitch in your book.  I think it means that I actually practice what I preach.  I do not eat dessert every day and I don't eat dessert in lieu of dinner.  I eat vegetables and fruits.  I exercise.  I have to work at my cholesterol and weight even though I have always eaten healthy foods and for the many people, that is life.  So eating responsibly all along is just teaching my kids about life and preparing them for it.  Is it easier to give in and give ice cream?  Absolutely.  Is parenting supposed to be fun and easy?  Not always if you are doing a good job.  [/quote]

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