Reply to Depression - Is it a cop out?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So someone has mental illness, does nothing about it, doesn't pull her/his weight around the house, and it's somehow the spouse's fault for not being understanding enough?

[b]Are the PPs saying this sort of thing really saying someone married to or the parent/child of someone with mental illness has taken on a 100% lifetime commitment that he/she must never abandon, no matter what the sufferer of mental illness does/does not do?[/b] [/quote]

You are totally projecting because no one has said this.  [/quote]
[b]
So why are people calling OP an asshole?[/b] He is basically saying those with mental illness are responsible for (1) ensuring they get better and (2) ensuring their mental illness is as small a burden as possible on their loved ones. Without both pillars -- the will of the MI sufferer and the ability of the MI sufferer's loved ones to support/understand/guide the MI sufferer -- the entire edifice comes crashing down.

Most people, when they come here, have tried for months, if not years, to work with their partner/parent/child. Yet a large section of people offer nothing but reproach and judgment of their own, insisting that the OP just needs to try something different, or shouldn't complain at all. [/quote]

1) He is male.
2) Many posters on here believe if a woman is depressed that is her husband's fault - if he did everything she wanted/needed him too, then she wouldn't be depressed so his failing to meet her needs and wants is what is making her depressed. His fault. 
3) Many people don't understand mental illness and that it can be used as an excuse for bad behavior, especially in those who refuse to seek help. 
4) Many think depression means you can't do anything but lie on the couch and watch TV for years and OPs expectation that she / they do anything more or anything about it is unfair. 
5) He is male, hence worthy of name calling and hatred simply because of his sex. 
[/quote]

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