Reply to Jewish perspective: Can I refuse to do the chairs dance at my wedding? (Not Jewish, but fiancé is?)

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Reply to "Jewish perspective: Can I refuse to do the chairs dance at my wedding? (Not Jewish, but fiancé is?)"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, it's concerning that your fiancé won't explain this to his mother. What is his reasoning for that?  Hopefully he is not like the asshole PPs who are doubting the seriousness of your condition?  And hopefully he is not planning on making you do the dirty work in dealing with his mom any time you two have to tell her something she won't like?  Those would be some major red flags. [/quote]

+1[/quote]

It just sounds like they are negotiating the boundaries of an interfaith marriage. Mom probably feels some concern about her son marring a non-Jew and therefore wnats to hold onto as many Jewish traditions as possible. [/quote]

But wouldn't that be a reason for sharing the explanation?  I can absolutely understand a mother being concerned if some of the beloved traditions of her family and heritage are left out of the wedding, because she'd worry that it's setting a pattern for the future.  Will her son and daughter in law drift away from the family Seder and other traditions?  Will her grandchildren grow up knowing about their culture and history?

On the other hand, if she knows that it's a specific safety concern, wouldn't that set her mind at ease that it's not a rejection of her culture?[/quote]

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