Reply to Jewish perspective: Can I refuse to do the chairs dance at my wedding? (Not Jewish, but fiancé is?)

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Jewish perspective: Can I refuse to do the chairs dance at my wedding? (Not Jewish, but fiancé is?)"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OK I'll say it, and maybe I'm out of line. But are you absolutely sure in your heart of hearts that it would be medically dangerous to be lifted on a chair for 30 seconds, if you vetted the chair lifters in advance to make sure they are extra careful?  I'm finding it a little hard to believe you have a genetic condition that is this disabling, yet able to be hidden from even your future in-laws. I don't care if you hora or don't hora, but this sounds a tiny bit like a power play between a controlling bride and her new in-laws. (Yes I get your doctor said not to do it, but I think it all depends on how you presented it to him and whether he felt you wanted him to say it.). Are you allowing any Jewish traditions at your wedding?  Obviously it is important to DH that his family and culture are recognized, and that is no small thing. Being a bridezilla about stuff like this, especially when it comes to blending religions/cultures, can really start things off on a bad foot with your in-laws, which can have long-reaching consequences. If it's truly medically dangerous, obviously don't do it. But then why not just tell that to the in-laws rather than playing this coy game that will be interpreted as disregarding their traditions?  I get the feeling you are only telling part of the story, OP. [/quote]

this is appalling. a woman who does not care about being tossed around on a chair (and she has a medical condition that would make that dangerous) is now a controlling bride engaged in a power play with the in-laws? I thought two adults could decide what to do at their wedding without having to explaing anything to anybody. if anything, the ILs trying to stuff the hora thing down the throat of the bride are engaged in power-play. I do not have any medical condition but I would never do that, I like having my feet on the ground, and I do not feel, as an adult, that I need to explain it to anybody.

I agree with other posters who said that this issue goes well beyond the hora, the behavior of OP's fiance is outrageous. does not understand something that apparently is important for her, does not support her in front of his family, tries to force her to do something she does not want to do by blackmailing her that she should face his family and/or reveal personal details of her health to his family/guests.  OP, if he does something like that before the wedding, I would be worried about how he is ging to behave after. at a minimum he sounds like a spineless guy, get some good counseling before you marry him [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics