Reply to Fitting the baby into your life, not the other way around

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Reply to "Fitting the baby into your life, not the other way around"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]First, everyone is selfish to some degree regardless of how laid back the disposition of the child.  I do not think that a parent is selfish because they parent differently than I do.

My SIL would appear to have the "kids need to fit into our lives" mentality and that is congruent with her personality; she prefers to go with the flow, be spontaneous, prefers very social events, dislikes the mundane or routine.  As a result, her kids have never had set routines (even as newborns) and have adapted accordingy.  They can nap anywhere, miss naps, delay bedtime, etc.

I, on the other hand, would appear to have the "my world revolves around my baby" approach; I prefer (crave really!) routine, consistency, and planning,  As a result, my kids have had a routine from day 1 and have adapted accordingly.  They don't nap well, if at all, unless at home or daycare, they never miss naps and if they do they are awful, and bedtime is a production that cannot be altered without resistance!

But, the truth is that BOTH my SIL and my own world revolves around our kids needs...we just have different ideas about what kids need.   My SIL would take her kids to a late night outdoor concert and have a blast, wheras I would get a babysitter and have a blast.  She expects her kids to adapt (a valuable life skill) and I expect my kids to follow a consistent routine.  Neither one is right or wrong...just different.  And thank goodness for that- a world full of uptight moms (like myself) would be really boring!!

[/quote]

well said!
We have friends who are like your sister-always taking kids out late to concerts and so forth. Kids go to bed at all times. They also have the flexibility to sleep in as they have a nanny. My kids have to get up early for daycare and I know that if they went to bed at 10pm they will be a disaster the next day.  Now sure they would have adapted (ability to sleep anywhere and so forth)  if I had set this as the norm, but the truth is, this I not my norm and it never was. Even pre-kids I loved consistency and routine, wasn’t one to go out every night of the week and liked getting up early. So In a way my kid does fit into MY lifestyle. I love that my kids are in bed by early and I can relax at night. [/quote]

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