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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote] For example, these are the same kids who don't swim well until later because the parents freak them out about it, don't climb to the top of the jungle gym, are picky eaters, etc.[/quote]

Are you saying that all fearful anxious kids are late potty trainers?  I don't think that is true.  Some kids just have anxious personalities.  It isn't always the parents' fault.[/quote]

I think generally it is the parents who foster anxiety and behavior that is behind most other children by seizing on it and encouraging it, instead of dealing with it in a way that allows the child to cope and overcome obstacles. I generally think late potty training is a parenting issue. I also think, based on my own observations of many parents after having 2 children, that other instances of children being fearful of trying things and moving to the next level, etc., are the result of parenting. Of course, I understand that come children are fearful/cautious while others are intrepid; however, I think that generally when a child shuts down repeatedly due to fear and cannot accomplish the things his/her peers do, it is the result of how the parents handle new situations. I am sure most people on this board will disagree and say that their child "just wasn't ready" to use a toilet until 3.5, or swim underwater until 5, etc. I am saying that I believe these instances are the result of parenting/nurture and not nature (expect in extreme circumstances like special needs). I understand that makes people defensive.[/quote]

I know it is a comforting fantasy that you can create or mold your kids in certain ways, but they are their own little people and would turn out much the way they would turn out even of they were raised in a different family (twin adoption studies show this). Enjoy your kids, enjoy your family. Love them. But don't delude yourself that you can mold them one way or another. [/quote]

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