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Reply to "DH, 50, lost out on another job, feeling depressed and hopeless"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Of course there is hope! My DH is 51 and just found a job with difficulty after nearly two years. He had applied to dozens of positions, most of which did not contact him: probably in part because he has an unusual background and is overqualified, probably also due to hiring freezes/reticence. He made the shortlist for those who did, but was never chosen until a few month ago. He also could not use his network, which is mainly in Europe. I may add that he looks quite ten years younger than his age, and that I do not think appearance is the direct issue here. Rather, in these difficult economic times where jobs are scarce, an experienced person is perhaps not as desirable as before. People glance at the resume and think: "Yikes! Too expensive. Let's get the job done a little more shoddily by a junior". It was a painful time, financially, psychologically, on all fronts. Our lives where put on hold for 18 months and I became quite paranoid about weekly expenses, let alone making any kind of long-range plans. I cannot work in this country, so we just conserved money as much as we could, and felt very lucky that we had a bit put by. Uncertainty plays with your mind to an unholy degree! I completely sympathize with the strain it puts on your family and your marriage. Even though I had input on DH's cover letters and all professional correspondance, I had to walk on eggshells sometimes because the pressure on him was just too great. This is a person who used to work in the ICU! Nerves of steel. But a year and a half sans job will tell on anyone... Your DH is well-regarded. He has a network that can scout for posts and recommend him. Above all, the more interviews he has, the more confident and in control he will appear. My DH made use of a very practical book called Landing the Job You Want: How to Have the Best Job Interview of Your Life http://www.amazon.com/Landing-Job-You-Want-Interview/dp/0609804081 He told me it was extremely useful and changed the way he described his past experience during interviews. Borrow it from the library. You DH does not need to network like crazy if he feels it is not helpful right now. On the other hand keeping up contacts and seeing old business associates will help him stay alert to changes in his field and make him feel he's still part of his industry. Cut out all unnecessary expense. Are you sure the therapist is working out for him? On the other hand, regular exercise like a morning jog is a great mood booster. Sex is great too, even though you might not be in the mood if he's grumpy :-) Big hug to both of you! Keep at it. I'm sure it will work out. [/quote] NP here: I'm also feeling a bit worried and anxious about my job search, and just wanted to let you know that it helps to see a kind and optimistic post like yours.[/quote]
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