Reply to Appropriate "punishment" if DD bombs finals

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[quote=Anonymous]I think that the conversations you have with your daughter should be about her learning and understanding, and not about grades specifically.

Start by saying that what she's learning in school is relevant. Doors open to you when you KNOW things, and when you're confident that you can learn.  [I loved psychology in HS and college. And wouldn't you know it, in grad school I needed to learn some complicated mathematics and statistics. If I'd been scared off by that, I never would've gone on to get a really interesting degree and a really interesting career! I use Baysian mathematics every day. Who knew?]

Ask her how confident she is in what she knows and is learning in school.  Does she think that her grades reflect her knowledge?  How else can she monitor her understanding, given that grades and especially finals are in many ways "too late" to be used as good indicators.  If she thinks she's having trouble--and EVERYONE has trouble at some point!--what can she do?  Whom can she ask for help?  Etc, etc.

You might structure the conversation like this.  She should monitor her UNDERSTANDING.  She should take action when she knows she's feeling like her understanding is wavering.  Does she need better study strategies? Does she need a study group?  How about a tutor?  There's no shame in any of this... med and law students understand the power of asking for help, working together, and seeking out the "smart guys/gals" as study partners!

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