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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Buy the boy a present.  Let his relatives and adults give him money.  It's inappropriate for his friends to give him money.[/quote]

Wrong. [/quote]

I disagree.  Give the boy AT LEAST $50 or $100 for goodness sakes - his parents probably spent $25,000 to $100,000+ for this thing.  It's a big deal.[/quote] of they are looking to recoup the expense then they should scale down the cost of the event. I wouldn't spend that on a wedding, let alone a child's party. Good grief that's excessive.[/quote]

Yes, in a perfect world.  But by the time your kid gets the invitation, the bar mitzvah and party have been a year in planning.  Did you know there are "bar/bat mitzvah expos" where  you go to get ideas and hire stationers, party planners, figure out themes, favors, bands and even "party enhancers" who are paid dancers who are on the dance floor trying to get everyone up and out of their seats to have a good time.  Some of these events cost hundreds of thousands of dollars.  Yes, that's what the parents chose to do (and also why some rabbis are trying to curtail the madness) but if you do decide to attend, you should at least cover the costs of your child's evening.  Or not attend at all.  Think wedding.  Would you give $18.00 to a couple at a wedding?[/quote]

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