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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Just to clarify - it is a MULTIPLIER of $18.  Not just $18.  If it's family, we would give $640 or so, in check form so you can salvage the situation if lost.  If a very close friend, then $270 or break $300.  And so on.  Ideally, this goes into a college fund so checks  are best.  Remember the family is laying out thousands of dollars for the event so your cash gift should, at a minimum, cover the cost of your child attending the party, food, etc.  Just $18.00 won't cover it.  And, yes, checks are best, not gift cards.[/quote]

Jew here, and I call bullshit.  First of all, that's a ludicrous amount of money to give.  Second, if the parents want to throw a lavish party, let them.  Gifts are NOT meant to recoup that cost - if this were a wedding everyone would be crying Bridezilla.  Third, there are 2 different things going on here.  First, the kid's parents and relatives are celebrating this important rite of passage, marking his transition to adulthood, yada yada.  Second, his parents are throwing him a good party because he has earned it, and they invite his friends because let's face it, a party with your relatives is no party at all when you're 13.  His friends, like OP's kid, are there to help celebrate.  They dont owe anyone anything except respect.

OP, dress your kid well, tell him to act respectful of the Jewish customs, and send whatever present you are comfortable with - I would go with either $36 or a nice, slightly expensive birthday gift, something you'd get your niece or nephew, $30 ish.  You are not responsible for putting this kid through college - if his parents cant afford it they shouldn't be throwing a fancy party when he's 13![/quote]

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