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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Starting to Think My DW is Unemployable"
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[quote=Anonymous]You said she has language skills. She should be able to use these to parlay them into something. It might not be in her old field, but maybe she could take a few courses to get ESL certified or to tutor people trying to learn English. DC has a lot of need for people with language skills. I understand some of her frustration because I have taken a step back on a number of occasions to further my husband's much better paying job. I have always been able to secure some kind of work by being creative and taking small opportunities, even when they are "beneath" my experience and education to get back into the work force. It is a little frustrating because I know that I would be farther along if I hadn't taken time out or moved around so much but these jobs have always led to networks that I can use to trade up fairly quickly. I have never had any luck just trying to go straight into a job at the level I probably deserve and can clearly handle. This is one of the consequences of a gap on your resume. That being said, I do not think you are out-of-line at this point in considering a divorce. There are more problems in your marriage than just this job issue. It sounds like you should start with counseling, both personal and couples, and get to the bottom of the verbal abuse, whatever caused the criminal behavior, why your wife can't find some sort of job after five years, etc. If you can't resolve your problems, divorce may be the answer for both of you. Your wife may actually feel better after a divorce because, right now, she is stuck in a paradigm in which she doesn't have to make a decision about the future. This can be paralyzing. On her own, she will be forced to (but also be able to) make her own way in the world and feel like she has some control over what happens to her. You will probably have to pay alimony, but alimony is rarely forever. It is usually for a fixed period of time and your child is old enough that your child support will soon go directly to your college-age child instead of through your wife, so you will be able to know that your child's needs are taken care of. Five years from now, you may all be happier and more independent than you are right now. The intervening time will be a little rough, but think about the long-term and what will ultimately be the best for everyone involved. [/quote]
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