Reply to I am visiting my GC, not you!

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[quote=Anonymous]I don't think that your in-laws are going to stop coming no matter what you say, so I think, as some of the PPs have said, it is about compromise.  Are there any things that you like about them coming over?  Is there anything that they could do for you that actually is helpful?  Does your nanny help out with laundry or other household items?  If yes to any of those, working with your nanny, I would set out a clear schedule of when they could visit focusing on positive things that you think are so helpful and why you are grateful they are there -- these sound like people who think they are being helpful, so feed their egos, while setting your own boundaries.  It could be something like this:  "MIL, we are switching around baby's schedule as she is getting older.  We'd appreciate if you would work with us.  Baby sleeps from 1-4.  We love it that you play with her, and that you help make dinner.  Nanny also likes it when you are there so that she can finish up x, y, z in case baby needs to go [to go to sleep early/get up early].  With that in mind, would you please try coming from x-y time."  And then have your nanny usher them out the door when the time is over.  Also, as your baby gets older, I bet that your nanny will want to be out of the house, walking around, etc.  Tell your MIL that the baby needs fresh air/socialization.  It will take time, but you need to be firm and consistent.

FWIW, my MIL would come to our house and do laundry, cook, clean our cabinets, etc. and my FIL would sit there and read the paper. Then as "thanks" for all of "their hard work," I was expected to make a big meal and clean it up.  It drove me crazy.  Now realizing that my MIL can't sit still, when she comes, I manage to come up with a list of things that would be helpful.  E.g., she's a pretty good cook, and she is more than willing to make soups and freeze them.  Or, she loves to walk, so she'll walk the two miles to school to pick up my little guy, which gives us an hour to run errands or the lik.  My FIL is good at putting things together.  While I agree you need to talk with your DH, my DH won't say a word to his parents, so I do all of the communicating.  [/quote]

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