Reply to Any moms regret quitting their jobs to stay home?

Forum Index » Infants, Toddlers, & Preschoolers

Reply to "Any moms regret quitting their jobs to stay home?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Not for one second.

It was rough putting my career on hold and giving up the pay/benefits, but it was a no brainer of a decision. Money is tight now, but I can't imagine only seeing my child for 2-3 hours of the day. I'm pretty sure I'd regret that forever.

The toughest part so far is feeling judged by WOH moms. I have a rich intellectual life and don't limit my conversation to the contents of diapers, but I hear women say "oh my god, I couldn't imagine cleaning bottles and changing diapers all day, I'd go craaazy!" like caring for their own child is somehow beneath them. So I'm wondering why they had kids in the first place if they don't want to care for them. [/quote]

Why did your DH have kids?[/quote]

My DH took a job with very flexible hours and excellent leave because he wanted children. Not everyone has that luxury, I know. I bring the kids to do activities near his office so we meet him for lunch once or twice a week. [b]I understand that some people need to work, but if it's an option, why wouldn't a parent want to see their children for more than 30-60 minutes of getting ready for daycare in the morning and 1-2 hours of getting ready for bed in the evening?[/b] So far I've found it to be enriching and exciting to be able to raise my children. Once they're in school I'll head back to my career (which I've kept with up by freelancing).

I'm just dumbstruck by the amount of parents I hear say "oh my god, I'd go crazy if I had to spend all day with my children". How incredibly sad. My days with my daughters are better than the best day I've had at work and I had a pretty decent career in a creative field. Vomit, poop, screaming or no. [/quote]

It is not that "some" people have to work.  [b]Most[/b] people must work, particularly in high COL areas like D.C.

Aside from that, the way you posed your question suggests that working parents do not want to see their children more than a total of 3 hours a day.  This is a fallacy in various regards:  (1)  Most WOHPs see their children for many more hours than that each workday; (2) the amount of time spent with children on weekdays is not the only driver for why one works; (3) it assumes that other-care is inherently inferior to SAHP-care, a premise with which I disagree.

Had you posed your question in a neutral manner, e.g. "why do you choose to work, if you have a choice?" then my answer is,

Because raising children entails about 20 years of my time out of a lifetime of say, 80 years.  Of those 20 years, only a few (several at most) entail my children being at home all day; during the rest, they are occupied with school and other out-of-home activities.
Because my job is sufficiently flexible so as to enable me to spend lots of time with my children and WOH.
Because I like my work and have invested a lot of time, energy and money into building it.
Because there are long-term financial, emotional, psychological, and other benefits to my continuing to work, benefits I would lose forever if I took time off to be at home with my children.
Because our family finances are more stable with two incomes than one.
Because divorce, chronic illness, mental illness, layoffs, and other awful things happen, things that are buffered by my holding a steady and high-paying job.[/quote]

Statistically speaking, I'm sure MOST women in this area have to WOH. But for the affluent that frequent this board and the mom groups I've been to, they absolutely do not. They make life choices to have cars, houses, vacations, private schools, etc. which make them "need" to keep working without taking a few years off. Good for them. I have friends who don't need to work but choose to and it's absolutely the right choice for them.

Listen, I have always considered myself a staunch feminist even before I knew what that word was. It hasn't been easy to stay at home because of society's view of SAHMs—that's really the only conflict I have. I don't understand is why it seems a bunch of parents I know would never even consider spending more time with their children while they are young. A friend of mine has to work to keep her husband in his fancy car and house. She has expressed the desire to stay at home, but meanwhile she is a single mom during the week —  said husband doesn't see his daughter AT ALL, not for one minute M-F and he has to check out to work from home on the weekends. I guess I just don't understand when parents don't want to spend time with their kids. Your children need you. Make it count.

And yes, raising kids takes 20 years[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics