Reply to MIL: Always trying to separate me and the baby?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Wow. In some ways, OP, I'm envious. Because that's the kind of behavior I would call on the carpet immediately. It's so unsubtle.

My MIL, on the other hand, just tries to buy my son's love with toys. She buys him 5-10 toys every day. DH made them stop when I put my foot down, but she still sneaks. She doesn't shit talk me in front of me, but she does tell DS grammy has "different rules." When it gets out of hand, I say ENOUGH, and put my foot down, but it generally percolates back up to a breaking point again within a given amount of time. And it's crazy. We are SO willing to bend over backwards for the grandparent relationship. I'm willing to bend bedtime rules for visits, etc. But when we say "DS has had a rough day, he was woken up by a noise at 5 this morning, didn't nap well, so we won't be pushing bedtime tonight" and they roll out a new toy or two at 7:55? So guess who has to enforce, against the angelic gramma? Big ole bad mom. So you see how it pits me against her, and I look like the bad guy.

Once we were out at a restaurant and DS wanted to sit by gramma, not mommy, and she said "I just love how he prefers me. Is that bad?" to an entire table full of people (DH was in the bathroom). I just said "enjoy your moment in the sun, gladys" with an eyeroll. and while DH supports me, of course he says "oh, she didn't mean it that way." But even that remark was obvious enough that I can put the foot down. Some of the remarks can be more harder to articulate when I try telling DH why I'm so pissed off. Also, she literally bathes in perfume, and when she gives me my kids back, they smell like french whores.  [/quote]

My MIL is the same way, with the toys and the perfume. MIL was raised by her grandmother because her mom died when she was young and her son moved back in with his mom. She is really fond of saying, "I just wish I could have the same kind of relationship with DC that my granny had with me!" Which I try very hard not to take to mean that she wishes I was dead...but sometimes it's hard to see another way around it.

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