Reply to SAHM vs. WOHM, the cost difference is $16,500 help me decide

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Reply to "SAHM vs. WOHM, the cost difference is $16,500 help me decide"

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[quote=Anonymous]I decided to stay home with my now 1 year old for a variety of reasons.  As PPs have mentioned, it may be difficult to get a comperable job after taking time off, but my job wasn't really a career track and though I loved it, there wasn't much room for advancement.  I do intend to go back to work eventually, but I am comfortable having to start from the bottom up in a new industry since I was going to do that anyway.  I tell myself I can fall back on contract attorney work if I need to.  Part time was not an option for me, so I didn't consider that.

A huge portion of my salary would have gone to daycare so that was part of the decision, and there were several practical things too.  DH works long, unpredictable hours, so it would have been a problem if we both had to work late and couldn't pick the baby up from day care, or if we had important things going on at work and the baby was sick or daycare was closed for some reason.  If either or both of you have a flexible job, or if you can afford a nanny, this may not be as much of an issue.  My mom worked when I was in elementary school and I remember her being very stressed out about how often she was missing work when one of us had to stay home from school.

My staying home helps little things around the house go smoother.  I can do most of the household chores during the day so we're not rushing around doing laundry or dishes all weekend.  I can take suits to the dry cleaners, go to the grocery store, cook dinner, and run various other errands.  Nothing major, but it frees up nights and weekends so we can enjoy time as a family.

I had thought that we would save tons money by cutting out my other various work expenses - eating lunch out, buying and dry cleaning my work clothes, transportation costs, takeout for dinner when we were too tired to cook etc.  Turns out that staying home comes with other costs so it's probably about even.  We probably bought more toys than if I were working because I need to occupy DS all day every day.  I still go out to lunch with friends and spend more at a restaurant than I would have getting a sandwich.  We pay for activities like music classes, zoo membership, and trips to the play gym.  We definitely cut down on takeout dinners, but I'm not convinced it saves us a ton of money over the expensive ingredients I buy at whole foods. I'm sure you could use your SAHM status to cut costs in these and other ways, I just haven't made it much of a priority.

The biggest factor for me was that staying home just felt right.  I waited until close to the end of my maternity leave to make the final decision, and I haven't regretted it at all.  I do sometimes miss being able to go to the bathroom alone, or have adult conversation, but I know I will get back to that soon enough.  I wasn't worried about daycare 'raising' my son or not being bonded to him, that is ridiculous.  If you go back to work, you'll choose the best childcare you can find and you'll certainly still be bonded with your child.  But for me, I knew within a few weeks that the small amount of money I would bring home was not going to be worth it for me to leave my baby.

Good luck with your decision!

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