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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I haven't followed it all the way, but I remember being shocked that they located the biological parents and they didn't choose to sue for custody.  I get why it's not the birth couple's fault, but I couldn't be so generous.

I went through IVF and I can't imagine being either couple in this scenario.[/quote]

I think it was a very loving choice by the genetic parents.  They didn't want to take a baby from the only family it has known or put parents who had bonded with and carried a baby through the pain of loss.[/quote]

Well sure, I called it generous.  I just couldn't do it.  [/quote]

+1[/quote]

Maybe the couple "lucked out" in the sense that the biological parents had already completed their family, and it was a surplus embryo. We're not given any details but it could be something along those lines. [/quote]

Is that actually lucky? Can you imagine being the biological couple’s other children and knowing that your parents would just give your siblings away? It would make me feel very disposable. [/quote]

Could you imagine being the baby and when you grow up realizing your bio parents said, no thanks. [/quote]
The bio mom whose egg was used is not a parent, never was 
Neither is that child a sibling of some unknown person who they have never met.
It’s just genetics. Not ownership. People are not possessions [/quote]

No, it isn't just that simple. There will always be a biological pull and you can't take away tens of thousands of years of evolution. You can't magically erase that. It becomes even more complicated when a child is of a different race than the adoptive parents. It can be hard for a child of color to grow up with white parents and it makes it harder knowing you have parents and a biological sibling who looks like you do.

The couple who got custody never should have publicly identified themselves and certainly shouldn't have agreed to post a picture of their family. [/quote]

Surrogacy with donor embryos is 41 years old. I don’t think evolution has caught up such that a kid knows on some instinctual level that the woman who birthed her isn’t her biological mom.

I don’t dispute that transracial adoption is very challenging on adoptees. But let’s not throw in pseudoscience about a genetic pull toward biology in this type of situation, absent citation.[/quote]

By the time that kid is three she is going to know she looks nothing like her parents. I would assume the biological parents have other children because if not they would have fought tooth and nail for this baby. So as the child grows up it isn't like in many adoptions the birth mother is unable to take care of the child or the birth family is unstable or the parents willingly gave up their child.  The later article said the birth family is South Asian. The baby is losing her culture and will realize it.[/quote]

But she was birthed by her mom. She has a strong physical tie with her both mother and genetic parents.

Again, that’s not to say having parents of a different race is great and easy. But she is literally being raised by the woman who birthed her. And she is maintaining a relationship with her genetic parents. No matter who she ended up living with, she would have serious loss either way. I’d say taking her from the mother who birthed and raised her, loves her, and wants her is crueler than placing her with her genetic parents who did not even necessarily want to bring a/another baby into the world.

The best option is obviously maintaining a relationship with both sets of parents, which is evidently what the families agreed to.[/quote]

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