Reply to IVF embryo error, custody settlement

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I haven't followed it all the way, but I remember being shocked that they located the biological parents and they didn't choose to sue for custody.  I get why it's not the birth couple's fault, but I couldn't be so generous.

I went through IVF and I can't imagine being either couple in this scenario.[/quote]

I think it was a very loving choice by the genetic parents.  They didn't want to take a baby from the only family it has known or put parents who had bonded with and carried a baby through the pain of loss.[/quote]

Well sure, I called it generous.  I just couldn't do it.  [/quote]

+1[/quote]

Maybe the couple "lucked out" in the sense that the biological parents had already completed their family, and it was a surplus embryo. We're not given any details but it could be something along those lines. [/quote]

Is that actually lucky? Can you imagine being the biological couple’s other children and knowing that your parents would just give your siblings away? It would make me feel very disposable. [/quote]

Could you imagine being the baby and when you grow up realizing your bio parents said, no thanks. [/quote]
The bio mom whose egg was used is not a parent, never was 
Neither is that child a sibling of some unknown person who they have never met.
It’s just genetics. Not ownership. People are not possessions [/quote]

No, it isn't just that simple. There will always be a biological pull and you can't take away tens of thousands of years of evolution. You can't magically erase that. It becomes even more complicated when a child is of a different race than the adoptive parents. It can be hard for a child of color to grow up with white parents and it makes it harder knowing you have parents and a biological sibling who looks like you do.

The couple who got custody never should have publicly identified themselves and certainly shouldn't have agreed to post a picture of their family. [/quote]

How do you know that?  Everyone feels differently.  We have an open adoption and honestly, my kid has little interest in the biological relatives.  They can freely email, etc. and they don't.  We don't restrict anything ever and I push my child to do it.  I do it all and the relationship is really between me and the relatives (who I adore and prefer over my own).

The woman who carried the child is the parent.  These are the child's parents.[/quote]

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