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[quote=Anonymous]I wouldn't go to the level of hiring a lawyer, but I'd do another letter or two and copy like everyone under the sun (president, head of disability services, admissions person you spoke to plus head of admissions, head of housing) and explain that this is JUST NOT POSSIBLE (and specifically why).  Explain that if you cannot get the single or a waiver for the on-campus requirement, you will need to defer and explore other options, and will be looking for them to refund the deposit as well as potentially cover other costs since you accepted this offer "in reliance" upon their representation that they could accommodate the needs with a single, and you would not have accepted their offer if you had been accurately informed that the college could not accommodate this medical need.  (Use the term "in reliance upon" -- that's a legal term relating to material misrepresentations.)

If you don't care about the money, you could absolutely just rent an apartment.  Have the kid show up to the dorm for orientation, and then they can sleep wherever they want.  No one is policing where college kids are sleeping.  Many of them are sleeping at their BF or GFs, or just plain sleeping around.  But of course then you are paying for two types of housing, which isn't ideal but might be better than a gap year for your kid's future development (and cheaper than hiring a lawyer).

My kid is sort of on the spectrum (varying diagnoses) and had a roommate freshman year.  We were hoping it would be good socialization -- didn't really work out and they basically never spoke.  I suspect my kid irritated the roommate or vice versa.  My kid kept headphones on almost always (including to sleep) and spent most days in the library/lab so rarely saw roommate.  Roommate, who was extroverted and bubbly, was also rarely home.  The food issues for the dining halls were the bigger challenge -- really did not eat enough or well enough and we spent a lot of extra money on groceries even though paying for a useless to us full meal plan.  By sophomore year, easy enough to get a single.

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