Reply to Partner and I can't agree on a surname after marriage and now I'm wondering if marrying him is even worth it.

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Partner and I can't agree on a surname after marriage and now I'm wondering if marrying him is even worth it."

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DCUM is overly liberal on this topic compared with how people actually think day to day. Even a lot of left-leaning people may say out loud that it is no big deal, but internally they still notice and make assumptions.

Fair or not, when a married woman has a different last name from her husband or kids, people may quietly wonder: is she divorced, is this a blended family, is there a professional reason, is she making a political point, is she difficult, or is there some narcissistic reason she could not just take the shared family name? They may never say that out loud, but people absolutely make those judgments internally.

That is why I think the Pew data matters more than hand-picked examples. Even among liberal Democratic married women, only 25% kept their last name. So even in liberal circles, keeping your birth name is still the minority choice.

And if we are talking about liberal women who fully took their husband’s name, not hyphenated or combined, there are still examples: Abigail Davis became Abigail Spanberger, Nicolle Devenish became Nicolle Wallace, Joy-Ann Lomena became Joy Reid, and Mary Sattler became Mary Peltola. It is still very normal.
[/quote]

Not everyone is insecure enough to make choices about their personal life based on what other people will assume.[/quote]

I kept my last name and if anyone's had some judgments about it, they haven't expressed it.

And I don't really care if someone secretly wonders about my name because there are a million other things people could judge me on, so... who cares?[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics