Reply to Should we cancel our 4th of July party?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I haven’t read all the responses yet but I did reach out.

First I tried to call, no answer.  Then I texted

“Hey! I just saw the invite for your 4th of July party and wanted to check in. I wasn’t sure if you remembered that we’re hosting ours that afternoon too, since you’d RSVP’d a while back. I figured I’d reach out in case there was some mix-up with dates or times”

I got a response within a minute.

“No, no mix up.”

So clearly she’s upset and I was talking to my husband all night to see if either of us did anything else to make her angry.  I am going to ask her point blank but feel like some space is needed.

But if she’s that angry, why would she still invite us?

Regardless we both feel like she’s angry we didn’t attend her Memorial Day party which seems a little silly.

But to answer other questions.

- We do have friends outside of this social group.  But the majority of our friends are mutual.  Again, we’ve been here for two years and because we all have similar aged children who are friends we see each other more often.

- I cannot think of anything else my husband, myself or my children did to upset her but I may ask.

- I guess I like drama as much as anyone would.  I like reality tv.  I like gossip to an extent.  I truly don’t like being involved in drama, or at the very least the cause or making anyone angry.   [/quote]

Do not ask her point blank. Absolutely not. She is playing a ridiculous game that is far beneath you. The best approach is cheerful and oblivious.

Cheerful: of course she's having a party; she likes to have parties!

Oblivious: she couldn't possibly be scheduling this at the same time as my party because she's in a snit about something, because that would be extremely childish.

Now act cheerfully and obliviously. Reply to her text: "OK! We won't be able to make it of course, but I'm sure it will be fun. Let me know if you still plan to drop by our house or if you think you'll be too tied up."

And then go about your business. Invite some other friends if you're worried about numbers. Neighbors will show or they won't. If people who rsvp'd yes don't show up or change their response, you'll know this isn't the group for you.

Even in that case, I would continue acting cheerful and oblivious. When you see a person who said they would come but didn't, just say, "hey, we missed you last week!" And then carry on, knowing that this is person may be a neighbor but she is not your friend.

Don't feed the fire by playing this stupid game. [/quote]

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