Reply to Should we cancel our 4th of July party?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
But if she’s that angry, why would she still invite us?

Regardless we both feel like she’s angry we didn’t attend her Memorial Day party which seems a little silly.
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Several reasons: So she can say, “I didn’t exclude you. You were invited.” so that she doesn't look like she's excluding you from a competing event that she decided to create.

So she can appear gracious and inclusive to the rest of the friend group. If mutual friends notice the conflict, she can present herself as the bigger person: “Of course I invited them.”

Another possibility is that the invitation is a power move. It’s not really about wanting OP there; it’s about signaling, “I’m hosting too, and people can decide where they want to be.”

She may also be testing loyalty. If OP cancels her own party and attends this woman’s, the socially dominant woman “wins.” If mutual friends choose her party, she learns who prioritizes her. If people choose the original poster’s party, she learns that too.

She might also be trying to make OP feel awkward enough to back down without having to directly confront OP. Inviting her creates an uncomfortable situation while allowing the woman to say, “What’s the problem? You’re invited.”

Bottom line, the other woman is toxic queen bee and OP needs to find some new friends.
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