Reply to Preschool complaining about 4 year old

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Just solidarity. We also have been jumped a few times with apparent crisis after months of “everything is great!” Like, lady, had we known, we could have been making moves months ago! It’s also hard because at this age, it’s really difficult to intervene when home and school are so different and a talk with your kid at 8am is long forgotten by noon. Just now at 4.5 we’ve been able to say: “I want to get XYZ behavior report today. Your reward/punishment (whichever they respond to best) will be ABC.” But I think what actually moved the needle on a particular issue was that we and his teachers made a concerted effort to praise good behavior. We had accidentally gotten in a loop of majority correcting vs praising.

We’re daycare to public, so no concerns about being counseled out. I suspect he will get an ADHD diagnosis when he is a little older (certainly has the family history!) but for now we have him in private OT while pursuing services through the city. Good luck! It’s been incredibly frustrating how unhelpful everyone (preschool teachers, city, etc.) has been when we are willing to do whatever they ask to support our kid. [/quote]

We also learned the hard way that [b]teachers aren't usually super proactive about alerting parents of issues. [/b]As a first time mom I guess I thought they would have referred us to child find, but really they just mentioned things one time and then on other days they would say "she's doing so much better". To be fair, teachers are not qualified to diagnose developmental issues so oftentimes they don't know, and they also don't want to say bad things to you about your kid every day. I've learned that when a teacher gives me information about something my child is struggling with, that they are doing me a favor by telling me (always a risk the parent will get upset with them) and that I need to take it from there to figure out how to support my kid.[/quote]

Teachers are afraid of confrontation and upsetting parents.

Many times parents don’t believe teachers. It could be something as simple as your child has a fever or, your child is sick. Dismissing it as just allergies or teething. What is happening is that teachers give up until it’s too late or the problem is too severe. I’m not saying it’s right, but it’s what’s happening many cases.

You can see it in OP’s post. She blames the teachers that they’re “complaining” about her daughter. instead of being open and willing to have a discussion about any possible concerns.

And I typed all that to say that transitions every 45 minutes is not developmentally appropriate, and the sign of an improper program for four-year-olds. #team4yearoldgirl[/quote]

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