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[quote=Anonymous]My DH is a great father and has been the default parent in our family from day 1. A true partner is every sense, including carrying his share of the mental load, keeping track of schedules, which kid outgrew their shoes, and making sure the kids’ sports gear is washed and ready to go for the weekend’s games. But the daddy privilege is real. He’d take the kids grocery shopping or to run errands and the store clerks would just fawn all over him and the kids, offer to let him cut the line because he “hands his hands full babysitting” and marvel at how he knew to take care of them. Meanwhile, I’d take the kids out and people would barely hold the door open for me as I tired to push the stroller through.

The bar is low for men BUT it’s a double-edged sword. I can’t even count the number of times we’ve submitted forms for various things listing DH as the primary contact and they still call me. The doctor’s office, the school, camp. It’s just presumed that because I’m listed as the mom, I’m the one who should be called. But I travel a lot for work which is why DH is the primary contact. When I’ve told the caller that I’m traveling and to call my DH, they act like I’m asking them to hand my kids over to a criminal. We have so many other examples of this in other contexts—roadblocks being put up for him because it’s something that moms typically do. We just had another situation this past week—someone grilling him on the phone about why the text reminders for the kids’ appointments need to go to him, not me. It’s just baffling. We want men to be involved fathers, it’s good for families and societies for them to be involved, yet so many people carry this outdated and insulting stereotype of men and women when it comes to raising kids. [/quote]

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