Reply to Q to the ladies: What gets you turned on?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Men who have excellent posture. Think Patrick Swayze in Dirty Dancing. Men who are kind when nobody's watching them. Men who have control over their emotions. Men who can cook (and know part of cooking is cleaning up afterwards). [/quote]

Yeahhh I don’t think that is what Op is talking about.

I think that women have to be a little more deliberate about stoking the fires. I just started dating after a long break and am basically ready to go 24/7 because I’m thinking about it all the time.

And obviously you have to be a good lover to make her want you. If she’s not going to come, why would she be eager?

For me after the initial intensity wears off, it also makes a big difference to wait longer periods of time (like 3-5-7 days) so I’m really ready for it. If you’re going to whine and cry that you need it every day, then you are going to miss on on the times she most wants to do it - and she’s not going to have orgasms and not want sex much.

Getting in touch with your own sex drive is essential - the types of touch and fantasy and what works. If she won’t do this there’s not much hope. conversely if you whine about what works for her being “too vanilla” then you will strike out again and lose her.

Finally I discovered that I personally prefer a submissive partner. Let me tell you when and maybe how we are going to have sex - and you’re going to like what you get :) I’m not really into the formal BDSM scene or whatever (not interested in tying up or spanking) but the subtle shift when I was with a submissive man and was able to call the shots was really gratifying in the end. I think as a woman I subconsciously experienced pressure and fear with traditional gender roles and that dampens the sex drive for a woman. So when I was in a relationship where sex was on my terms … much better! 
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