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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think you also have to account for the concept that "abuse" is an over used word in our current culture as is "toxic".  Some of these kids and parents are snowflakes that just don't like anything they don't like/feel they deserve special treatment and attention to their feelings and emotions.

We currently have a "toxic coach" that simply would have been previously categorized as an "assho!e" back in the 90s.  I don't need him or what the club is selling but I also account for how terribly sensitive we all are as parents these days.  [/quote]
Why would any parent tolerate an assho!e coach for their kid when they don’t have to? Sounds like only an assho!e parent would do this.[/quote]

Because they will have to deal with adversity in their lives and difficult people, like you for me in this very moment. Falling apart at the first sign of discomfort isn't an option. At least not in my world. But hey. Raise yours how you feel.  [/quote]

Nah you have to teach young girls self respect and to walk away from abusive, toxic jerks asap.    
[/quote]

First of all, I’m PP, and I was talking about a boy, not a girl. But in truth, it doesn’t make a difference (I have a DD, too). Moms and dads love their kids and want to protect them from everything (an instinct I have too), but the world is harsh. Some coach who yells when he shouldn’t or treats kids unevenly isn’t right, but it’s also not the end of the world, and there is an opportunity there for a life lesson around perseverance. That doesn’t make me or anyone else a “toxic parent.”

But again, do whatever you want with your kids. I’m going to teach mine to be compassionate and caring, yes. But I also want strength, toughness, and grit.  Maybe yours won't need those qualities. I expect mine will and I'm going to prepare them for whatever they might encounter in an increasingly brutal landscape. [/quote]

I didn’t call you a toxic parent, maybe that was a different poster.

Anyways, we aren’t talking about coaches who simply yell, OP was referring to a “toxic” coach.  I, too, grew up playing for tough yelling coaches, but some coaches these days take it too far and are high on power.  Our previous coach was extremely manipulative, condescending, pitted players and families against each other.  Nobody at the club held him accountable.  He is protected by his good ole boy network despite killing the program from the inside out.  Keeping DC in that environment would not teach them jack about adversity.  It would teach them that it’s ok to take disrespect from a person with more power than them.  It’s not a lesson I choose to teach my DC.  Sometimes you choose self respect and walk away in life.  That includes real life and jobs too.  [/quote]

Right. My comment about “toxic parents” was more global. I hear you. I think my current toxic coach resembles some of what you are describing, maybe to a lesser degree. I definitely wouldn’t subject my kid to another year with them.

I think this is just a cultural difference, and perhaps there are two ways to skin a cat. For me, toughing it out is the default setting. Once you establish grit and toughness, then we can talk about avoidance and boundary setting short of actual abuse, which I don’t think most alleged “toxic coach” conduct described on DCUM rises to.[/quote]

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