Reply to 2E parent of a 2E child

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Are you getting the kid any help or just criticizing? [/quote]

Closet: he has a school uniform. There are brand new shirts in his size lined up in his closet by size and color. A rack for ties (that he instead loses). All his socks are the same. There is a separate dresser in his closet just for athletic clothes organized by athletic socks (top drawer), tops, bottom, and white vs colored. He has a hamper and a separate basket to accept things he has outgrown. Instead he reaches into the laundry to pull out dirty things, won’t accept that things don’t fit (thinks everything is “fine”) and won’t alert me when he needs something (and also refuses to come shopping).

School: he has a math tutor who comes twice a week. I force him to visit his teachers, who he blames for his missing work. There is a resource room at school that I have been begging him to make an appointment with for months. Nothing happens.

He isn’t even trying.[/quote]

It's not working because the math tutor and teachers are not teaching him executive functioning. That's what he really needs.

He's not going to go to the resource room because he's overwhelmed and he's avoiding the issue. Stop begging him. Find a new way. The outside coaches are better if the kid is embarrassed to seek help at school.

You need to look at yourself here. You've done a lot of things. You're really trying super-hard! But you know your approach is not working. So you need to change your approach. It seems like you feel entitled to a neurotypical kid or a kid who isn't so hard for you to parent. But nobody is entitled to any type of kid, and this is what you got. So you need to find a new way. And it starts with accepting your child who has very poor executive functioning.

As for the outgrown clothes, take them away. Take the dirty clothes too. What would he do if his hamper were empty?[/quote]

My ADHD 2E kid can’t do closets and drawers - out of sight, out of mind. The compromise is open baskets for clean clothes and a different hamper for dirty. Maybe a system like that could help for at least this problem?[/quote]

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