Reply to WFH/working parents who refuse to use childcare?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]To be clear:

This woman is not forcing OP or her daughter to provide free childcare. She asked for some help, OP said no, that is the end of that. OP is not burdened in any way by this situation, which is the other woman's problem.

OP isn't this woman's employer and we have NO IDEA what her job is. Everyone in this thread is thinking of their own job and saying "oh I could never do that." But this woman likely doesn't have your job. You don't know her situation.

I didn't have FT childcare when my first was a baby specifically because I didn't have FT work. I was doing contract work on a freelance basis, some for my former employer (who I left when I had my baby) and some for other clients. In the first year, I didn't do a ton of work, just a few projects here and there. I mostly was able to work on weekends or when the baby was sleeping, occasionally I'd hire a sitter for an afternoon. At one point I tried out a coworking space with childcare, which sounds like the perfect solution to someone in my situation, but was terrible because my baby cried the entire time we were there and I could hear her from the cowering space. So I never went back there.

There was just a lot of trial and error to figure out what made sense.

What didn't make sense was to put my kid in a FT daycare because there were some weeks where I didn't work at all, and the whole reason I shifted to contract work was to maximize my time at home with my baby. I recall trying for a while to get a part-time spot in a nanny share or daycare but had no luck.

I know for a fact that some acquaintances were weirdly triggered by my work and childcare situation at that time, because a lot of women are deeply bitter about their own work/childcare arrangements. I'm sympathetic to their struggles but reject anyone putting that on me. My life is not a dumping ground for your own resentment about work/life balance. I did what made sense for me, and most of the people who rolled their eyes or said rude things to me didn't understand my specific situation, what my workload was really like, or that I regularly paid for childcare but just not a daycare or nanny like they'd had. They also had no interest in learning, they just wanted to judge.

Which is also what OP is doing. She just wants to judge and feel superior. Her friend isn't making her do anything. OP is just bitter and taking it out on her "friend" instead of figuring out why the situation triggers her so much.[/quote]

That’s a lot of words to say you’re not bothered[/quote]

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