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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm the PP whose baby hardly ever cries. Whoever said I was probably a FTM was right, and I'm sorry if I came off sounding like a jerk. I see so many threads about sleep training and CIO and leaving your kid to scream for 2 (or 4 or 6) hours and it makes me feel really defensive, like somehow I am doing something wrong because I don't leave my child to cry. I feel very wrongly that she shouldn't have to feel in distress if it is not necessary, so I do whatever I can to make her happy. I get the impression from some of you that that makes me a bad parent, hence the defensiveness.

Do what works for you and your child. If you don't want to let them cry for a second, don't feel like it makes you any less of a parent.[/quote]

I'm the one who thought you sounded like a jerk :)  I was being defensive, too, I'm sorry. I can't imagine that anyone would judge you for responding to your child's needs. I certainly don't.  And I often wish I had an easy baby--my second one was easier than the first but still had some issues--like cried for every single car ride he went on for the first 5 months of his life for no apparent reason.  When it feels like every other baby slept happily in their carseats (including his same-aged cousin) I was very frustrated and exhausted.  For me, doing sleep training after months and months of holding, nursing, rocking and attempting the whole drowsy but awake process but having it fail WAs attending to my child's needs. I also can't stand to hear my babies cry, when my second hated the car, we would get home from wherever we were going and I would drop everything in the front hallway and sit and nurse him right there. My DH thought I was insane to not take him up to the glider in his room, but hearing him scream for so long was pure torture and I couldn't let it go one more second.

I just wish that people wouldn't have this image of parents who sleep train as monsters who are sitting on the couch watching tv and eating popcorn while their baby cries.  Most of us are crying at the same time, I was.  It wasn't done without a second thought, I deliberated and delayed the training until I couldn't do it anymore. And I wasn't doing it for my "convenience" either, neither kid slept through the night for months and months and months after sleep training.  We attended to their needs and I nursed when they wanted to be nursed but they didn't come out being able to out themselves to sleep and we would be up 10 times a night with my first one. A pp mentioned that she was probably overtired and you are absolutely right.  Pediatrician ruled out reflux. She's an amazing sleeper now which I am grateful for because when she was young, I couldn't do the dishes without waking her up. Well-meaning people who say "just make noise around the baby" doesn't have a baby that woke up on hysterics when you did the dishes an entire floor down--it's hard to not stop doing the dishes, you do what you can to get your overtired baby to sleep, right?

Anyway, I just plead for the anti-CIOers to have a little sympathy and realize that even though something worked for your 4 babies it doesn't mean it worked for mine, and it doesn't mean I'm a cold terrible mother, it just means we had to use different tools to get our child to where they need to be. My sensitive 5 year old? Still cries every single day. No she's not an easy kid and wasn't an easy baby, and while I was green with jealousy of those who had easy babies at the time, I love my little girl, she's an amazing person and I am confident that I didn't damage her by letting her cry, we are extremely close :)[/quote]

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