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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How did you feel if your child found their birth mom and decided to meet? Going through this now with my adopted late 20's DD and have a variety of emotions going on, including feeling insulted as this other woman gave her up for adoption while I raised her.[/quote]
We all understand now in this generation that these children  are their own people, with their own  genetic and ethnic identity- related to other people, not you. Not anyone in your family.

You raised her, but at some point  you had to have come to grips that she was not related to you. This is not only her story that you do not own, but her future kid's stories, etc.

That being said, when she finds her relatives, [b]they really won't be family[/b]. It just doesn't work that way. She just wants to know where she came from,  and why. This is a human right. [/quote]

Genetic families ARE family.  Some may be close after reunion and some may be distant or estranged, like in all families.

Once my bio sister (who my mom relinquished for adoption) found us, we have absolutely been family.  We are closer to each other than either of us are to our brothers we grew up with (mine bio, hers adoptive).  We missed 45 years of sisterhood but in the last 9 since we hae known each other, we have been very close.  Her husband is my son’s favorite uncle out of several others.  We vacation together and talk often.  She is more family than anyone I grew up with, and she feels the same.

Don’t underestimate how much genetic ties can be meaningful.  I know some adoptive parents want to believe that love is love and blood means nothing…but for many of us, blood means a LOT and when you click, you click.[/quote]

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