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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here - an honest question - how am I enabling if I argue with him and get mad at him whenever it happens? That part confuses me. I don’t drink and I don’t support his binge drinking. 
Also I have teens - they seem to see things pretty clearly so I am worried about that but also not as worried bc they see things clearly if that makes sense. 
[/quote]
Enabling encompasses more than the drinking. Do you have children in the home, op? I grew up in a home with an alcoholic mother. As an adult, I felt more anger toward my father, who could've left and gotten me out of there but didn't.[/quote]

This is pretty common. I have similar feelings towards my mom who stayed. OP will need to think about how she discusses this with her kids. My mom is dead so I cannot ask her questions. But knowing my mom, my bet is she would not have answers that I would like. It would be about how she “luuuvvveed” him and not an answer in which she calculated the risks and thought she could better protect us by staying.

Truthfully, my dad would likely have spent very little time with us if they had split. I probably would have been driven around while he was drunk a lot less. He certainly doesn’t spend much time with his kids and grandkids now that she is dead.[/quote]

I have a lot of open and honest conversation conversations with my kids. Part of that conversation is that we have been married for over 20 years and for most of that time it’s been amazing. [b]While I feel like their dad is having a few bad years,[/b] I don’t know that the right thing to do is abandon him. I also think that both he and I are open with his drinking with our kids, so we aren’t lying to them and we do have a lot of open honest conversations. Honestly, that is the best I can do right now.[/quote] Others have said it and I'm saying it too. Alcoholism is progressive and the distance between binges decreases. Your kids don't want to see their father out of control - ever - it's not ok for them to see it "just once in a while". Please get some help for yourself so you can begin to understand the impact of alcoholism on you AND your kids.[/quote]

I can tell you from personal experience that being the adult child of an alcoholic has lifelong consequences.

https://adultchildren.org/laundry-list/

If you can't manage to address this for yourself, OP, then address it for your kids' sake.[/quote]

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