Reply to Ex says I’m ‘taking’ DD - she’s almost 18 and choosing to stay here.

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Reply to "Ex says I’m ‘taking’ DD - she’s almost 18 and choosing to stay here."

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Divorce lawyer here.

1. IF you are not leaving anything out, then you're not doing anything wrong. It is not only normal but it is expected that as teens turn into adults, they become more independent and have their own preferences and minds.

2. No judge is going to make a kid 16+ visit another parent. That's how we get runaways on our hands. We call them the "600 pound gorilla" because they choose where they go and when they go. Those that are saying mom needs to make it happen, how do you suggest she do that? Physically pick her up? Take her phone and car? Push her out of the home?

3. When people say that I hope he doesn't pay for college then they have no understanding of how humans operate. First, he may not have a legal obligation to pay for college. Second, if he does, he has to regardless whether he sees the kid ever. Third, if he can afford to and chooses not to to punish the kid, then he will fracture the relationship.

4. I don't see the mom as aliening so much based on what she is saying. Dad is seeing the kid but the visits have decreased to no overnights. My suggestion would be that you propose to both dad and kid that dad take additional days or times to make up for the lost overnights. So if kid saw dad for Fri-Sunday every other weekend and now it is Fri evening for dinner and Sunday for brunch, I'd offer 1-2 more meals OR taking her to an activity, etc. during the week.

My guess is mom also sees the kid less, bc kid is acting like a normal 17 year old and is spending a lot of time with friends before they all scatter to different places. I also suspect that kid is well aware of how mom feels about dad which isn't ideal...but such is human nature.[/quote]

There is an order in place.  If mom wants it changed she needs to go back to court.  You are telling them it’s ok not to follow the order and that’s not ok. If daughter stops seeing dad there is no more relationship and if she is grown up enough to make that choice she’s grown up enough to pay for her own college.  [/quote]

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