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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]No decent mother would take down photos without at least attempting to talk to your daughter. The phone choice was fine. But taking down the photos was not and was a toxic move. [/quote]

Agree.  This is an escalation. And not reasonable.

You need to talk to a therapist to process your feelings and learn how to deal with her (and your reactions). I will say that lots of college kids are just selfish without processing it that way. THey have a lot going on. Newfound freedoms. Etc. [b]Was it rude not to come by? Maybe. But she prob didn't even think you'd care. That doesn't make it ok but maybe don't look at it in the worst possible light?

My DD is in college and she is def in a "self-centered" phase. But I try to just be here for what she needs and not criticize all.the.time[/b]. [/quote]

OP here.  Thank you for your words but this is a different situation.  My kid knew I was sick over several years, which broke our family financially, but she never had to want for anything as the money ran out.  She knew how much everyone sacfificed in order for her to be there (in college) and was well supported with my savings, scholarships, and community resources.  We are not wealthy people (her younger siblings and I), so this isnt a matter of me just having the money and choosing not to give.  Seeing her pictures everyday was heartbreaking for me and her siblings, they felt abandonded and asked about her all the time, she never returned phone calls or anything from them either over many months. We aren't talking a quick shift, we are talking repeated disrespect, disregard, and cruelty over time.

I am at an empasse because I learned that she recently (in the last week) checked herself into a hospital for depression/suicide.  I had no idea it was this serious until her roomates mom called me with very deep concerning behaviors her daughter had told her. the concerns were so bad that she requested to be moved to another room to be away from my daughter. I feel horrible for that mother as we are both struggling to pay for an 70K per year school, and she did not sign up for my kid to treat her daughter that way or be exposed to anything like that.

I dont know if its depression, drugs, suicide... i am empty right now.

I thought that she was just being horrible to us but I am learning that it has been to everyone.

This is all coming at the worst time because I am back in cancer treatment and now have to juggle two sets of hospital bills, patient navigation, the rumors and judgements from people as they learn about whats going on , I just feel like breaking down all the time. My daughter had everything and flushed it down the toilet.  I am compassionate to the circumstances and it still feels horrible[/quote]
You’re compassionate? Your daughter is hospitalized because she wants to KILL herself. You only care how that looks or impacts other people. You have no compassion for your daughter. The circumstances and timing with your own illness are unfortunate but why isn’t your husband dealing with bills and patient navigation. Who cares about rumors. Do you want your daughter to die? Do you want to die and leave your daughter with this ending- that her mother hates her? [/quote]

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