Reply to Bat Mitzvah gift from a Middle Income Family

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here - thank you for your responses. So what I'm getting is a cash gift is appropriate. Meaning - DD is not supposed to show up with a physical present like it's a kid's birthday or anything like that.

One other question - the invitation was for the jewish service and then the party after.  I've heard from other people invited that they're just going to the party afterwards.

Just for us, I don't find that appropriate - from what I understand, DD's friend has spent a lot of time learning Hebrew and the religious verses, etc. - so I've made clear to DD she needs to show up for her friend and sit in the pews while she and her family have their moment.  Admittedly, I'm not Jewish but I don't want my daughter just showing up at the after party.

The reason I raise this is because the invitation was to my daughter and the after party is in the evening.  I'm just wondering - should I drop my daughter off at the synagogue and wait outside and pick her up after or is it okay if I go in and sit with her.

Obviously, I'm not proposing to attend the party itself - I'm just trying understand the protocol for the religious service.  
[/quote]

Yes it’s definitely more respectful/appropriate for your daughter to attend both the service and the party. However we had some kid friends only attend the party so it isn’t uncommon.

Often parents drop off the kids at the service and pick up (sorry it’s a drop off pick up heavy day) but we had some parents, like you, interested in attending the service which is totally lovely and you’d be completely welcome. The service is open to the congregation/community anyway. Ours lasts around 2 hours, some are longer or shorter. Just wear something that covers your shoulders (no spaghetti straps). [/quote]

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