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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This drove me nuts when I was in my 20s and early 30s -- the presumption that you just had a couple grand lying around for every friend's wedding (bridesmaids dress, travel and accommodations, wedding gift, bachelorette activities -- easily added up to 2k per wedding). I started turning down invites to be a bridesmaid for this reason, and even skipped several destinations weddings altogether, especially when scheduled at really difficult times. I also had three siblings get married during this time and while I didn't have to pay for as much of that myself (still bought my own attire selected by them and wedding gifts, but my parents paid for my travel and accommodations). I was in grad school and then just starting out. I felt like weddings ate up all my leave and energy and I didn't have time for myself, so I started saying no. It did actually kill a few friendships.

When I got married, we did a small ceremony and reception at a restaurant near our house. No wedding party. We hosted our own bachelor/bachelorette parties on consecutive weekends at our apartment, and put up any friends who travelled in from out of town at our place (yes it was cozy, people slept on the floor, it's fine, we were young). I have zero regrets. I'm not sure where these expectations for these very elaborate and expensive wedding plans come from -- celebrities? It feels soulless to me.

One thing we splurged on was our wedding photos, and we wound up with such wonderful, intimate photos of a great party with just family and our closest friends. When we sent out thank you notes, we included copies of some of the photos of guests. Over the years we've seen those photos in other people's homes and it brings me such joy.[/quote]

We also just invited family and close friends.  We just have a much bigger family.   Between DH and I, we had 40 aunts and uncles and 52 cousins.  And these were people we knew well.  DH grew up near his cousins, saw them every week, and went to school with them.  My extended family lived further away, but we would see them 1-2 times a month my entire childhood.   
We talked about having a smaller wedding, but we really couldn’t have done it without really upsetting some people.  My dad was a lawyer with a solo practice at that time and felt he needed to invite his most important clients (also people I had known since I was a little girl).  We ended up having about 150 people. 
My cousins who grew up with my mom’s cousins and all of our extended family and those friends ended up with close to 400 people at their wedding.

I don’t think anyone is inviting random strangers to their wedding.  Some people just have a larger circle and more social obligations.  
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