Reply to Frustration with 2e/gifted child

Forum Index » Kids With Special Needs and Disabilities

Reply to "Frustration with 2e/gifted child "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP--BTDT and I'm so sorry you're in this place now.  I used to say that my son held our family hostage with his behavior.  Everything had to be his way or he would throw a 2yr old style tantrum.

You've gotten some very good advice here.  Your DD's behavior is impacting the entire family.  Family therapy seems like a great next step.  What stands out to me is that she is digging her heels in until she gets wants and she doesn't care who she steps on or hurts along the way.

Her community therapist is not the right person for this.  It doesn't sound like your daughter is even ready for therapy.  She needs to be in an environment where the rules are rules and no matter what she does, the rules don't change.  My kid is at RICA.  Most kids there go through a phase of not talking to the therapists, refusing school, lashing out, etc.  The staff are not emotionally invested so the kid does what the kid does, but nothing changes about the requirements--let's say attending school.  You can refuse to leave the cottage and not go to school.  But the staff will physically remove you from your room and lock the door.  You can sit in the hallway all day.  The staff will engage with you only to ask: are you ready to go to school?  There will be no electronics.  If you want lunch, you need to go to the school (next building) to get it.  No one is saying you won't be fed, but lunch is served at school.  Once she accepts that she has to follow basic rules, she can then start to be a part of both individual and group therapy.  Group therapy is fantastic for this because she will learn that she is not alone, what she feels is valid, and she will begin to learn from those that are ahead of her.

Your daughter is in crisis and is acting out in the only way that she knows to bring her comfort, by controlling what she can.  In my case, it was my younger child.  I ended up sending my older child to boarding school so she could have some semblance of a typical teenage life.  She thrived there without constantly having to be forced to deal with the outcomes of her brothers behavior.  Your concern about your daughter not being employable is valid.  It speaks to the larger issue she's having---she needs to learn how to function in society.  She will not be able to lash out at her co-workers or employer and maintain her job.  Your job now as her parent is to accept that you have done the best that you can within the tools accessible to you in your current community.  It's time now to look for a different community for her that can help her grow into the young woman that you know lives inside her.

This is HARD.  Really, really hard.  There is no parenting handbook for dealing with type of behavior.  All you can do is find a community that can help her and help your family heal.

Best of luck.

[/quote]

Thanks so much for sharing your experience. It sounds like you were able to make a lot of pretty tough decisions. Hoping for the best for your family. Yes it’s so hard.  I feel like we are at a crossroads for when things can either start to get really bad or we can start to make progress. Not sure yetwhat that road will look like for us. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics